ACCUSATION Part 2 of 2
m/m, NC17
It had been a completely different matter, me with Piers. But then, you'd
expect that, wouldn't you?
It all started when I went with Piers to look at a new car they wanted to buy.
He’d asked me to. Andi knew as much about cars as my aged grandmother, and
apparently he had some other event to go to, anyway, not that he told us what
that was. He left the flat before us, smartly dressed and grinning with the
anticipation. He’d glanced at me as he passed, and he winked. His nose crinkled
when he was excited – I’d learned to recognise that, since we’d started
fucking. Of course, it also made him an even worse poker player.
“We can have a look at the car,” I said to Piers, driving us both through town.
“Then if it looks like a bargain, you can check back with Andi.”
He grunted back. “If it looks good, I’ll buy it. He wasn’t interested. Our
decision is good enough.”
I shrugged. Piers seemed put out, and it surprised me. “Are you annoyed because
he couldn’t come?”
Piers glanced at me. His eyes were very dark. “What do you think?” he
said. It seemed like a genuine question, too, but I didn’t know how to answer.
The traffic distracted me, and we didn’t talk again until we reached the
garage.
It was a good car – low mileage, one careful owner, full service history – and
just what they needed. Piers let me do the negotiating, but he stood beside me
and contributed a couple of smart, well-informed comments. In the end, we got a
very good price on it, and agreed to pick it up in another couple of days. We
went for a drink to celebrate.
It turned into a whole evening’s drinking and chatting. Laughing, too. I’d never
really rated Piers’ sense of humour, finding it a little too sharp, and
apparently at Andi’s expense for most of the time. But on his own, he was far
more relaxed, and very witty. Generous, too, with both his money and his
company. I talked about myself more than I usually did. We found a lot more in
common than I’d expected, based on our taste in music and movies, and our work
experiences and … well, plenty of other things.
I didn’t stop to think about it too much. I was enjoying myself too much to
care.
Late in the evening, I found I was being nudged up against him as more people
squeezed into the seats around us. I was very aware of the smell of his
cologne, cool and citrus. He shifted to give me a little more room, but not
much, sighing and pushing his hair back behind his ears with a smooth, careless
gesture. His hands had always fascinated me. They were slim and lean, just like
his build, but they had a grace that was almost feminine.
“What?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re staring. What’s up with me?”
“Nothing,” I protested, laughing at how worried he looked.
He smiled back. There was a strange glint to his eye. “This has been fun,
Charlie,” he said. “You make me laugh, too.” He watched me take another
mouthful of beer. “So where do you think Andi is right now, while we’re
enjoying our night out?”
It caught me unawares: I nearly coughed up the beer. “He’s fine, I’m sure.”
“Oh yes,” said Piers, softly. “I’m very sure he is.”
I stared back at him. I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about. I hadn’t
drunk as much as he had because I was driving, but anyway, I didn’t think
alcohol was the reason for my confusion. It might have been the sticky
stirrings of my guilt, I suppose. But Piers just didn’t seem to be… Piers.
He sighed again, leaning back on the seat. “Sorry. You talk a lot of sense,
Charlie. It’s just me. And Andi… he’s too much, sometimes.” He shook his head,
apparently at a loss for words.
“Look,” I started. I mean, I knew how infuriating Andi could be. Petulant;
unreliable. I’d often caught Piers rolling his eyes at him, when we were all
together. I usually felt obliged to come to Andi’s defence – but I had to admit
I’d sometimes felt like doing the same myself. “Andi’s just young…”
“No, Charlie.” Piers was quite sharp. “Andi’s the same age as you, right? But
then why are you two so different?”
I didn’t have any answer for that, but I thought I ought to try. “You have a
different relationship with him.” I sounded awkward. I hoped none of the people
around us was listening in. “You’re lovers.”
Piers was watching me, closely. “And yet you seem comfortable with him.”
I couldn’t answer, this time. Maybe he was right. When Andy looked at me, it
was as if he expected me to understand his thoughts and needs. When Piers
looked at me, I felt like he already understood mine all too well. When
Andy laughed breathlessly and spread his arse for me, his eyes were on mine, as
if they were searching for something inside me that he needed. Whereas Piers …
even tonight, in a crowded pub, I felt that Piers looked inside me and saw at
once what I had. And I wasn’t sure it was anything to boast about.
I stared at my empty glass and cursed philosophical, bar-room ramblings.
There was an hour or so before closing time. Piers moved on the seat beside me,
restless. “Andi and I… “ He sighed again. “Sex isn’t everything. It gets
tedious, sometimes. He can’t keep a job down, you know. And when he doesn’t get
his way he whines like a kid. You’ve heard that fucking lisp he affects
whenever he wants anything special? You know what I mean – when we’re in bed.
The games he plays.”
I couldn’t remember Andi lisping. I couldn’t concentrate on anything except the
sound of Piers talking about sex games in the same, blunt way as his partner.
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” I muttered. “It’s not really anything to
do with me, is it?”
Someone pushed from the other end of the table and everyone shifted up. I
bumped clumsily into Piers and he grasped my arm. He leant into me, keeping his
words between us alone. “Would you like it to be?” I stared at him, startled.
“Don’t you want to try me for yourself?”
I laughed. Didn’t know what else to do. He stared back at me. “Maybe I’m not
your type.”
“No. Hell, I mean… “ I sounded a complete idiot. “Piers, don’t be fucking
stupid. It’s not that. You’re great. You’re…”
He shrugged, but he didn’t move away. “Fucking stupid. Yeah, you said it,
Charlie. I’m what you need tonight, though. Just like you’re what I
need. That’s what you think, isn’t it?”
I didn’t know what was going on. I knew I couldn’t blame the drink for my
queasiness; my shortness of breath. His hand slid down to my wrist and gripped
me even more tightly. “Let’s go before I do something that gets us thrown out,”
he said.
*
Most of the patrons in the pub were settled there for the duration – we were
the only ones leaving early. The yard outside the pub was dark and quiet, the
ground damp from earlier rain. Half of the wall lights weren’t working
properly, the fitful illumination throwing out strange shadows around our feet
as we walked a little unsteadily towards our parking space. My car was tucked
in right against the far wall. “Thanks, Charlie.” Piers’ voice was quiet.
“What for?” I muttered, fumbling in my pocket for the keys. For advising about the
car? For getting a round of drinks? For listening to his complaints about Andi?
“For… fuck it. I don’t know.” He laughed, and I found myself smiling along with
him. Yeah, fuck it. Piers made me feel like that. “Just for being here,” he
mumbled. He looked – suddenly, strangely – vulnerable.
“You’re drunk,” I said.
“Not that drunk,” he murmured back. And then he pressed me back against the
wall and he kissed me, hard. His tongue was hot and his breath very beery. “You
taste good, Charlie,” he sighed.
I wondered what the fuck was going on. I was vividly aware of how different his
kiss was – how aggressive, compared to Andi’s soft, wet lapping.
The kiss got deeper. His hands gripped my arms, but I expect I could have
thrown him off if I’d wanted. Obviously I didn’t, because I kissed him back and
he hissed something into my mouth that was pure, inarticulate need. Or maybe
that was me – I couldn’t tell us apart by then.
I knew we were going to do it, there and then, in the car park. My cock ached
with the shock.
He turned me with my face to the brick wall and wrenched down my jeans and
briefs. He must have had some lube with him because his fingers were cool and
slippery when he started to work them into me. I spread my legs wider, letting
the denim slide down around my knees and I leant forward, presenting myself to
him. I heard his zip open – I felt the heat from his cock, up against the cold
flesh of my arse. He hesitated, then.
“Charlie,” he hissed into my ear, leaning over me. “Tell me what to do.”
It was such a strange choice of words from him, but I was far from thinking
straight. I couldn’t remember when I was last this excited. My cock was swollen
and physically painful, pre-cum shining at the tip. The reflection from one of
the neon lights winked in the clear, sticky drops. “Use a condom,” I hissed
back. I’d given him his answer, indirectly.
There was the rustling sound of a foil packet opening, then the cold slickness
of latex against my buttock as he rolled it over his cock. Then his cool, firm
hands pulled my cheeks apart and, with a grunt, he pressed into me.
I heard myself cry out, softly – nonsense, really, but the clearest words were
‘Yes’, and ‘fuck’. He fucked me, all right. He hissed under his breath and he
gripped at my hair, anchoring himself as he rammed in and out of me. I could
hear the quiet drip, drip of old rainwater under the car beside mine; in the
background, there were traffic noises from the road at the front of the pub. I
moaned aloud at a particularly harsh thrust.
“Quiet,” he hissed, his hips slapping against my arse. I bit my lip. We were
pressed up against a damp, slimy wall, half-hidden behind parked cars, with our
jeans around our thighs and fucking as fiercely and as silently as we could.
How sordid was that?
With Andi, I always came fast: with Piers, I came hard. Harder than I had for
years. I actually staggered with the force of it, my vision suddenly dizzy and
my knees weakening. He held me tight until he finished as well. He leant over
my back, pushing my head against the wall, the brick scraping my jaw. The
shudder raced through him, and he exhaled against my ear. Bit me, too, right on
the lobe. I gritted my teeth, trying not to make another sound, and my cock
jerked in my palm with a final throb of stimulation.
We pulled our jeans back up and got into the car in silence. Maybe I was in
some kind of shock.
We did it again that night, just before we got back. He slipped his fingers
down into my jeans while I was driving, hissing obscenities into my ear, laughing
at or with me – I didn’t know any more. I pulled over and parked behind the
Chinese takeaway, just up the road from their flat. I’d barely slipped the car
out of gear before he had my flies open and his mouth around my cock. We
scrambled into the back seat, peeling off our clothes, our skin hot and sweaty.
He fucked me, hard and awkwardly, my bare legs hugged up against my chest and
the door handle digging deeply into my shoulder blade. For me, it was as
intense as the first time.
Piers seemed to make an art of sordidness.
Since then, we’d fucked as often as the occasion allowed. Anywhere. Hard and
fast and with a gasping desperation that he could fire up in me, in seconds.
Yeah, I was doing them both at the same time.
Or was it a case of them doing me?
*
“Charlie.” Piers’ voice called me back to the present. “Charlie, what’s up with
you?”
I frowned again. I was sure I looked flushed, I felt so hot. “Nothing. You were
just telling me to back off.”
Piers frowned. He straightened up and placed his hands on the table in front of
him. “I don’t remember saying that.” He ran a finger across his last hand of
cards, fanning them out slowly. “Just that maybe I know Andi better than you
do.”
I was the one to lean back in my chair, now. “I don’t understand,” I said,
abruptly. Even as I spoke, I realised I should have backed off, but by
then it was too late: the words had a will of their own. “Neither of you is
like this when you’re apart. When you’re with me. So how come…?” I let
the rest of the sentence trail off. The look on Piers’ face was shocking. His
expression barely changed, but his skin had turned a shade of grey. I opened my
mouth to speak again, but now nothing came out.
“I know, Charlie,” he said, very, very softly. His eyes were dull and hard and
fixed on my face. “I know all too well how it is when he’s away from me. Did
you think I didn’t? Did you think it was a secret, Andi fucking you?”
I stared, horrified. I felt chilled through. My voice came back to me, but in a
stumbling rush. “God. I’m sorry. It’s not like that.” What was he going to do?
Was he angry? Distraught? Violent, like Andi had once suggested? “I mean… you
mustn’t think…”
Piers laughed. It was a very sharp, discordant sound. “What am I to
think, then? Dear God, you’ve not fallen for him, have you? Fallen for those
big, puppy eyes and that trembling lip?”
I grimaced. I pushed my chair back across the floor, wondering how to get out
of the flat if he turned aggressive. “Piers, don’t be ridiculous. Of course I
haven’t fallen for him.”
“Thank God for that.” He sounded genuinely, deeply relieved. “I know he can be
a good fuck, if he puts his mind to it, and I know what he’ll have said to you,
to get to you. Some variation on how he’d never tell me you were doing it; that
I don’t give him what he wants; that I don’t treat him as he deserves – but
that you’re something different.”
I groaned to myself. This was beyond horror. Andi had said exactly those
things, more than once.
Piers got up from his chair and came to stand in front of me. He looked as if
he was in pain, and yet he didn’t seem as angry with me as I’d expected.
“Piers,” I gasped. “Look, we’ll stop it at once.” Friendship suddenly seemed as
insubstantial as the Emperor’s new clothes. “I know I’ve been…” What? I
thought.
“Shut up.” He frowned; his eyes weren’t focussed properly on me. He was
sweating a little too much for comfort in the cool room. “You don’t understand.
You’re not the problem, Charlie. You’re…” He paused, and smiled in a rather
grim way. “You see, you are something different.”
Before I could say a word, he knelt down in front of my chair and put his hands
on my knees. I just stared; I didn’t believe this was happening.
“Let me suck you,” he hissed. He glanced at my groin; licked his lips. “You
know I’m good.”
I was disgusted with myself – I was hard, just at his words. “No!” I snapped.
“Stop it – I don’t want -” I sucked in a breath and my body shuddered. His hand
had cupped my cock, swelling inside my jeans, and he squeezed, none too gently.
He dipped his head, his breath hot on my groin, making my erection stir
uncomfortably inside the fabric.
Then there was the scrape of a key in the front door lock. Before I even had a
chance to register it properly and to reach a hand to Piers’ head to alert him,
Andi walked back into the flat.
*
“Christ,” I said. My body had gone rigid with tension. I didn’t think that
Piers had started unzipping me, but for that second, I wasn’t entirely sure.
“Andi. You’re back quickly.” Pretty unimaginative response, and not a lot of
use, either.
“It certainly looks like it, doesn’t it?” His eyes were wide. “The corner shop
was still open so I didn’t need to go to the off-licence.” We both watched him
as he put a carrier bag on to the table beside us. There was the muted chink of
glass inside it, as bottles settled.
None of us spoke for a few seconds. Piers was still on his knees in front of
me.
“Andi…” I started, slowly. My tongue felt thick in my mouth. Why wasn’t Piers
saying something? Trying to explain the unexplainable? Excuse the inexcusable?
Andi sighed. To my astonishment, he put out a hand to Piers’ head and ruffled
his hair. “You look good there, Piers. You look good at Charlie’s feet. Hungry.”
The balance of power suddenly seemed to have shifted.
“Andi, I’ll go,” I said. I stood up quickly, forcing Piers to lean back on his
heels to avoid being knocked over. “This isn’t what you think -”
And then Andi laughed, too. It seemed I was Mr Accidentally Amusing tonight.
“Don’t be hypocritical, Charlie. You think I don’t smell him on you when you
come round? I know you’re fucking him. I’m sure you’ve both enjoyed it.”
Piers made a strange noise at the back of his throat.
“God, Andi.” I was dumbfounded. I looked from him to Piers, who was slowly
getting to his feet. “Piers.” I couldn’t think of anything else I could or
should say.
Andi walked slowly over to the chair that Piers had vacated and stood beside
it, a hand on its back. He ran the other hand through his curls – a gesture I’d
previously thought was artless and childlike. “Piers, pour me a glass of the
wine. Now.”
I watched Piers fumble with the new bottle, trying to open it. He spilled some
of it on the table when he poured it out into Andi’s glass. I couldn’t see his
eyes to see how he was taking all this. He didn’t seem to be posturing in his
usual, arrogant fashion.
Andi’s eyes were, however, a different matter. I didn’t recognise the look in
them – nor the calm, almost imperious way he was speaking. He was looking at
me, and I tried to remind myself how familiar he was – how he was when I first
met him again in the club; when he first sobbed on my shoulder; when he first
moaned and bit his lip as I fucked him with something like grateful reverence.
Something wasn’t right. It wasn’t… Andi.
“Oh Piers,” he said, with a sigh, though he stared at me. “I just don’t
know what’s going to happen to us now.” I noticed his lisp for the first time,
just a gentle hiccup on the ‘s’ sound. He looked almost forlorn.
I glanced between them: I felt a violent panic swamp me. I’d been scared of
Piers’ reaction, but was I worrying about the wrong man? Andi wouldn’t do
anything stupid, would he -?
I didn’t have a chance to protest, because Piers moved suddenly, jolting
awkwardly against the table, pressing himself up against Andi. “Don’t be rash,”
he said, urgently. “Andi… please.”
I didn’t recognise the tone of his voice: I’d never heard such pleading from
him. It was surreal - like being in a movie where the soundtrack has slipped
out of kilter, and the dialogue comes from the wrong mouth.
Andi turned to him, slowly and carefully. His eyes were moist with a quiet
sorrow; his mouth set with disappointment. “Piers, this is just too dreadful.
It’s upset me so much.”
“No!” Piers gasped. “It’s over. It’s over, right now, OK? It’s nothing. Don’t…”
His voice choked on the words, and I saw him struggling for breath. “Don’t go.”
His movements were clumsy and lacking his usual, easy grace. He grasped Andi’s
arm. His knuckles were white.
Andi looked down at the hand on his arm. “Let go of me,” he said, quietly. I’d
never heard such an edge to his voice in my life. He sounded years older;
centuries crueller.
Piers went pale and pulled his hand away as if he’d been slapped.
*
I realised I’d backed up towards the door. I was moving slowly and as quietly
as I could, but neither of them seemed interested in me any more. I wondered if
they ever had been.
“It’s not the first time, Piers,” Andi murmured. He brushed at his sleeve as if
he could see an unpleasant stain there. “Is it?”
Piers grimaced. “And what about you?” he hissed. Some spirit had
returned to his tone. “It’s OK for you to shag around.”
Andi continued to stare at him, almost pityingly. “Yes, it is,” he said. “Of
course it is. Isn’t that right?”
I stared with amazement as Piers flushed a deep red. I’d never seen him
embarrassed like that, even at his most angry or passionate. “Yes,” he
muttered. “That’s right.”
Andi moved up close to him again and slid a hand around his waist. He turned
both of them so that Piers’ back was to me, and I could see Andi just behind
him. Andi lifted his gaze and stared at me. Then he slid his hand down further
and he gripped at Piers’ arse. “It’s mine,” he said, gently. “That’s the phrase,
isn’t it? How we used to say it at school, Charlie. His arse is mine.”
I swallowed, hard. “Yeah.”
Andi turned his head so that his words whispered into Piers’ ear. “Whatever you
did with him, I’m the only one who gets to fuck your arse.”
A shudder ran the length of Piers’ spine. “And I want your-” he started.
Andi’s hand tightened. “No. You don’t get that. That’s for the rest of them -
they’re welcome to it if they want it.” His eyes met mine again. “It’s just one
of our games, after all. It’s not like I give a fuck what they do.”
I made some noise or other: my fingers felt cramped from where I’d been
clenching my fist.
They broke apart, suddenly. The air seemed tight with tension. Andi looked up
into Piers’ contrite face. “Say sorry,” he whispered.
Piers shuddered again. He reached out and touched Andi’s face. Andi turned his
head, nuzzling into Piers’ palm. “Sorry,” Piers said.
“Never again?” Andi prompted.
Piers shook his head. He couldn’t take his eyes off Andi’s face. “Never again.
Please.”
Andi nodded and smiled. “That’s good. Now make it better.”
Piers stroked Andi’s face; trailed his fingers down to Andi’s throat. Andi let
his hand brush against Piers’ hip. They swayed gently together. They touched
each other – nothing too explicit, nothing involving flesh or the groin area.
But the charge that came from them was electric; fiercely, sensually vibrant. I
could feel it even from the other side of the room – I could feel the answering
ache in my cock.
I’d never seen them like that before.
Andi looked over at me again. His eyes looked sleepy. “Charlie,” he said,
softly. “You’ll have to go. I’m really sorry.” He didn’t sound it. The lisp
seemed particularly pronounced. “We’ll see you around, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, hoarsely. No, I thought. I turned to leave, my heart
thudding uncomfortably fast; my palms sweaty. I glanced at the table and saw
the scattered cards from our earlier game. It felt like a year ago, not just
hours. There was a pile of notes and coins by Piers’ place. I scooped it up and
pocketed it. I needed enough for more than a couple of drinks.
Neither of them took any notice of me as I left.
*
The pub was noisy and crowded and, for once, that was the best thing it could
have been.
Hell of a mess, I thought. It had never been about me, had it? It had
just taken me too long to realise it. I was awash with the inferior beer and my
eyes were stinging from the smoky air, but it felt healthier than it had done
in Andi and Piers’ flat.
Games, I thought. I took a long gulp of my pint. I’d had enough games
for a long while.
A young blond man knocked against me as he passed, and apologised. “Shit.
Sorry, too much already.” He gestured to me with his half full glass. He had a
nice smile and the sort of relaxed, cheeky look I’d have said was my favourite.
He gazed at me, the smile lingering. His eyes flickered down my body and back
up again. You didn’t need any more of an invitation nowadays, did you?
“You look like you’ve had a hell of an evening,” he said. His grin was rueful.
“Looking for a friend?”
I stared at him. I laughed aloud, and it probably wasn’t at the truly cheesy
line. “You have no idea,” I groaned, the beer tasting bitter in my mouth in
more ways than one. “You have no fucking idea!”