PART 8
A/N: It becomes obvious a little later in… but just for those that may
be confused, a major skip in time has been made; about four years. Reven was 16
when we left off… he’s 20 now. Enjoy! Read and review for clare and I please
^_^
----------------------------------------------
Inoue glared at the cup in Reven's hand from his place on the weight bench,
placing the barbell back on its pegs and sitting up, wiping the sweat from his
chest and face with a towel. "I told you that shit isn't good for
you," he muttered, eyeing the espresso once more before standing and
heading to the large bathroom.
He picked up the towel he had been using and tossed it in the laundry basket,
always the more cleanliness-minded of the both of them, and marched across the
black marble tiles, pulling his sweats down his hips and dropping them to his
ankles, kicking them into the basket as well.
The jagged scars on his stomach were itching and throbbing mildly, as they
always did after a mission with Reven, ever since their first one together.
Today, however, his patience was short; normally he would have ignored the
coffee, but he was rather irritated about their last mission as well.
He flicked on the hot water, shaking his head angrily as he went over the
scenario in his mind. Inoue had been faking unconsciousness after being
captured, waiting for his captor to show a sign of weakness, and Reven had come
charging in, missing getting killed by less than an inch as bullets screamed
past his head.
The redhead scowled and searched through the cupboards for clean towels, but
found none. "Did you do the laundry?" he asked in a clipped tone,
refusing to look at his partner.
Reven stretched his hand past the shock of red hair and flicked the water off
again.
"Fucking look at me when you talk to me!" he growled. They were of a
similar height now, and he stared Inoue in the startled face. Damned man had
been biting at him ever since they left the warehouse downtown!
"Like the laundry is critical!" he snapped. "Like
my coffee drinking is important! Why can't you come right out and say it
- that you're fucking mad about the mission, and the way I didn't follow your
plan to the letter!"
It had been brewing for a couple of missions now - he wanted more of a say in
the planning but Inoue was always the dominant one. He showed initiative -
Inoue slapped him down. He saved his ass time and again - Inoue called him
reckless. Reven ignored the nagging thought that he had been reckless
this time - he'd burst in way too early, but he had to, because the guys had
turned up ahead of schedule, which Inoue could never have known. But then, nor
did he ever fucking ask!
Inoue turned on his heels, his rage flying but his face apathetic as he stared
at Reven.
He was still just a little taller than his pupil, tall enough to look down at
him-- and he was very much doing it right now. "The laundry matters
because I asked you to do it, and the coffee matters because you're ruining
your excellent health," he said casually, knowing that apathy was the
fastest way to enrage the passionate youth. "And yes, I'm angry about the
mission. You fucked up, again. Again, Reven, do you hear what I'm saying
to you? I should just let you go to sleep one night, and when you wake up, I'll
be gone; I should just get rid of you. Then, you could fuck up as many missions
as you'd like, and I wouldn't be around to care."
He arched his eyebrows calmly. "Or if you'd like, you can just leave, and
help me avoid the trouble. I know you're tricking yourself out again--
why not go back to that life?" he offered as an afterthought, placing his
hands on his hips and waiting for the explosion, waiting for his chance to
really cut deep wounds into Reven for his foolishness, on hopes that at least a
few wise ideas would slip through.
Reven heard the words, but he couldn't take them all in. Inoue was always there
for him, even when he was scolding him like some kid, even when he was telling
Reven things that were already known...
Inoue was always there. Now he said he might not be. Reven's head swam, with
anger and with shock. Sure, the guy threatened all sorts of things, usually
just to get him to listen. And Reven usually listened, in the end. Inoue had
the experience, Inoue had the consummate skill. Reven knew he was still
learning -hell. Did Inoue think he was an idiot? But he was also a professional
in his own right by now, surely? Inoue never gave him the credit for that...
And the jibe about tricking - Inoue had never said that before! Inoue had never
made such a comment on the life that Reven had left to join him. The anger in
Reven flared higher than his caution. Who the fuck was he to tell him to go?
"It's no business of yours who I fuck, so long as I don't
compromise this!" he yelled back. He couldn't help but be vibrantly
aware of the man in front of him - Inoue was naked, the slight sheen of sweat
on his muscles from the workout, the tension in his body from his tight words.
Reven knew the emotions that were controlled underneath such a cool exterior -
it just angered the fuck out of him that Inoue never gave way to them.
Emotions that might have reached out to Reven himself - that might have allowed
him closer, rather than the rare, soulless touch of hand on cock in the night,
when they both needed physical relief. "I'm not out on the streets - I'm
not pimping myself! But maybe I'm not the great, stone-cold control freak that
you are - maybe I need some kinda touch that you just don't need, and just
don't wanna give! That's my business, right?"
And how the hell, he thought wonderingly, did Inoue know?
"Everything you do is my business," Inoue said slowly, seeing the
rage in Reven's eyes and glad it was there. He was trying his best to shut out
the images, block off what he'd seen only a few weeks ago, and several times
afterwards, watching in absolute horror.
"When my blood and yours are mixed so often, when we're constantly tending
to freshly-ripped wounds, I can't trust you or watch over you or be near you
any longer, with the worry that you're fresh with new diseases or viruses...
And those I'm sure you've had plenty of access to, what with the way you so
eagerly bend over for nearly anybody who is willing, or they bend over for you.
I've seen the men and women, trotting back with you into the rooms offstage
after you've finished making a slut of yourself, performing as all those people
eye-rape you."
He felt knots in his stomach, writhing and tightening, and yet he was speaking
with an absolutely deadened voice as his eyelids remained hooded. "You can
take the kid away from whoring, but I guess you can't take the whoring out of
the kid," Inoue fired as one last insult, hating the images in his head of
Reven's body on display, writhing and bucking on that filthy stage as dirty,
grimy hands reached out to touch him, caress him.
Reven felt the pain like a physical blow. It was like he was 16 all over again,
and falling out of a window into Inoue's lap, and all that had followed. When he'd been just a raw kid, abused but never really
understanding why, with plenty of street smarts but no real direction to his
life. When he'd been so impressed with the cool, clever guy in front of
him...
And now he was abusing him, just as cruelly, with words that were like knives.
He stared at the naked man in front of him. He'd given him years - all those
years, of learning and following and admiring. Yeah, and physically wanting!
And yet now they seemed to drift further away from each other, time and again
in conflict.
And I guess it's all my fault, thought Reven,
with a cold, miserable shock. I'm not good enough, am I - I'm not the man he
is. He tolerates me, but he doesn't care for me. Uses me - but doesn't accept
me.
And the realization calmed his anger. Two could play at Inoue's game - and he
had the wit and speed of the young.
"Guess I never knew you liked the clubs so much," he said, softly.
"You must have been there - oh - every night last week? To
have made sure of catching me there. Liked the show, did you? They
wanted to pay me to perform, y'know - but i only did it 'cos
I loved the feelings of the music in the pit of my groin, the sweat running
down my back, the shine of excitement in the watchers' eyes. And the sex -
yeah, the sex is good, too. Fast, and anonymous, and so plentiful I don't ever
have to hold the same body twice. What else do I have after the tension of a
mission?"
He saw Inoue wincing - he wished he could understand the man's reactions, but
sometimes he felt he was no nearer him, even after so long in such close
proximity. He wanted to hurt him back, but knew it was useless.
He bent briefly, to pick up his bag, which still went with him everywhere. " It's for me now - the pleasure is what I
want, not some pimp. But you've made your position very clear, so here's mine.
I've always given you my first loyalty. I've never taken or been taken without
protection - I've never seen anyone twice because I don't want any attachments.
I never give my real name, never allow anyone any
personal details. I come and go when no-one knows, or can follow. I've never
allowed anything abusive, non-consensual, or involving cutting. You think I
didn't have enough of that before? And that's how I try to balance my life with
you with the other things I need."
He paused, drawing a breath, determined to meet Inoue's cold demeanour with his own. "That's how it is, Inoue. I
don't wanna go, but it's your call."
His hand was rising before he was even thinking about it, and Inoue's fingers
clamped around Reven's throat with a lightning-quick movement as he snarled
with rage. "My call?" he hissed, his fingers digging into the muscled
flesh fiercely, "My call?! I was at those clubs, several of them,
because the word among the wise was that there was a piece of fresh meat in one
of them, obviously one of our trade because of the blatant giveaways," he
gestured at the scars no 20-something man should have on Reven's body,
"And I was going to kill him, Reven, do you know why?"
He didn't know how many times he'd gone over it with the damn kid-- competition
within a small area was bad in the first place, and on top of that, he couldn't
have another assassin marching around town showing off. If the employers around
town already knew that there was a killer stupid enough to show off his body in
public, then it was a matter of time before the authorities knew, and went on
an assassin hunt.
He realized he was choking his partner, and released him with an enraged roar,
throwing Reven against the wall and breaking one of the mirrors.
The force of the throw shocked his body, bursting out whatever breath was left
in him. You thought you were so fucking clever! shrieked
his horrified mind. So fucking clever, wanting it all, gonna show him how
smart you were! And all you've done is acted like a spoilt brat who wants to
work like a man but play like a kid. And - as always - it's Inoue who's got to
make you see sense!
His throat hurt, painfully raw from the strong fingers. His hands shook from
where he'd grabbed at his hands, trying to pry them off.
It was along time since he'd felt physically scared of the man.
He did now.
He knew that look; he knew it better than any other expression a human being
could make, he'd seen it so many times. It was raw fear and horror, the
gripping terror of seeing possible death before your eyes.
Inoue felt a stab of anger at himself this time, rather than Reven; he had
sworn to himself never to give the dark-haired youth reason to make that face,
and to protect him from anybody that ever would... and it turned out in the end
that the one he needed to protect his partner from, was Inoue himself.
The redhead shuddered and looked away, unable to match gazes when Reven's
expression was frozen like that, his hands shaking. He reached up and let his
hand rest on the hot water tap, wanting to turn it on and get in the shower and
simply forget that this had happened.
Not happening.
Inoue shook his head and walked out of the bathroom, past Reven without looking
at him, unable to look at him, unable to justify ever taking the kid in, in the
first place.
What had he done for Reven, anyhow? Taken him from one horrifying life, to
another, rather than placing him in a proper life, with friends and all the sex
he wanted, the ability to be immature and make mistakes.
Master, I'm failing...
He walked past the training room and into his own bedroom, standing at the foot
of his bed and staring at nothing.
Reven, I'm failing you, and I have been from the start. Maybe it is for
the best if I leave you, with money and this house, to find a new, healthy
life.
Reven counted the breaths - he deliberately lowered his pulse. It was something
Inoue himself had taught him, right back at the beginning, as a way to regain
control in the face of panic.
Inoue had passed him without a look - he'd been white-faced.
He could've killed me, thought Reven. But he looked like he already
had.
He dragged himself up, his bare feet finding purchase among the shards of
mirror, avoiding cuts. His leg throbbed a little - it often did, it times of
stress, or strenuous physical activity. The old wound liked to remind him of where
he came from.
There was no sound from Inoue - that was almost scarier than the roar of anger
and the blow.
Reven limped over to the bedroom, to find him. To see this
thing through, perhaps.
He couldn't turn around and look at his partner. Couldn't turn to see why Reven
was limping.
He knew why-- when Reven got overly stressed, he'd gain a slight limp, in the
same leg that had been cut up when they first met. It was the same way for the
scars on Inoue's stomach; the human body translates emotional stress into
physical pain, and both of them seemed to have the same outlets.
"I can't do it, Reven," he breathed quietly, his arms limp at his
sides and his eyes closed as he regained composure.
Can't raise you properly.
Can't teach you what you want to know.
Can't give you the things you want.
Can't be the Master you need.
Can't... can't anything!
He shook his head slowly. "Leave me alone," he uttered, remaining
stone-still before his bed as those damned images of Reven's performances on
stage sliced through him like razorblades.
Reven stood as still as a rock behind Inoue, staring at his back. The strong muscles of his shoulders - the raised bumps of his spine
under the taut skin. The slow, sensual curve into his
buttocks - the sinews down the backs of his long legs.
He'd never heard Inoue say 'can't' in that way. Never heard
the man admit any insecurity or failure.
He'd relied on Inoue all his life, or that's how it felt.
"It's OK," he said, hoarsely, and then realised
how stupid that sounded. Things obviously weren't OK.
"I was an idiot," he said, his voice regaining some strength. "I
let you down. I just - " He couldn't explain his
reasons for his outbursts - his wild nights. He didn't know them himself.
"Perhaps I wanted you to find me out," he said, in a rare burst of
pure honesty. "Drag my ass back in line, right?"
He stepped slowly into the room, to stand only a foot behind the statue that
was Inoue. "Don't wanna leave you alone, OK?" he whispered, and put
out a hand to Inoue's warm skin.
This touch... Reven had stopped trying to initiate any sort of physical contact
between them within the last year, after trying time and time again to get some
response from Inoue, silently begging for that one night when he was sixteen
again, for their first and only time as lovers.
Inoue was unused to it, and hated that he had missed it. Hated how often he
sought time alone so he could stroke himself and think of that one night years
ago inside of Reven, hearing the youth moan and whimper.
This was exactly why having a deeper relationship was a bad idea! Mixing
the professional work and the personal, it only ended up with chaos, and
somebody getting horribly hurt, or killed...! Plus, once that line was crossed,
Inoue really had no way to go back; he'd barely recovered Reven's respect after
fucking the dark-haired man once.
All of this didn't change the fact that the hand on him--no longer a tiny boy's
hand but a real man's hand--was causing his arousal to grow, in spite of his
inner turmoil. "I said, leave." The words were hissed
raggedly, and Inoue knew he needed Reven out of the room before things got much
worse.
Lying together and stroking each other till completion was one thing, but right
now with his emotions raw and his guard down, there was no guarantee he could
keep from taking Reven roughly, and ruining his years of work.
"No." Reven couldn't believe he'd said it - that he'd disobeyed
Inoue's order, for that's what it was. He was still wary of the man, he could feel the tension radiating out from his body.
But he couldn't believe that Inoue could dismiss him like that, so abruptly -
so callously.
"We're partners, right? I wouldn't be here today without you," said
Reven, simply. He knew he didn't have Inoue's education - his vocabulary. But he
could express himself as well as anyone. "I won't let you down again - I
won't go clubbing again, putting us both in danger. But can't I help you? Can't
I touch you -?"
He didn't seem to have full control of his hands, though maybe he was fooling
himself.
He lifted his right hand, and ran it through Inoue's long red locks, letting
the sweat-damped threads catch between his fingers. He pushed it all gently to
one side, baring the nape of the man's neck. Then he leant forward, the other
hand anchoring him at Inoue's waist, and his lips touched the smooth skin.
Inoue's cock twitched as his partner's lips touched down on his neck, and a
hand settled on his hips, keeping him in place.
How many times had he pulled away from this exact touch, how much practice did
he have with resisting the temptation of taking Reven brutally and lustfully?
Obviously, not enough; he turned around with intention to push the dark-haired
man away, placing his hands on Reven's chest and preparing to shove him out the
door for the insolence he had shown, disobeying a direct order...
He found he couldn't do it. He stared down at Reven, wanting to punch the kid
in the mouth for his foolishness, wanting to kiss him hungrily for being so
goddamned beautiful, wanting to fuck him for even being attracted to somebody
as horrifying as Inoue knew he was.
"What do you think you’re doing?" he hissed quickly, looking away,
though unable to remove his hands from the tight, flexed muscles of Reven's
chest.
Reven felt Inoue's hands on his chest and he exhaled slowly. It was so damned
good - it was what he'd waited for, for so many nights. He placed one of his
hands over Inoue's, pressing hard, so that the both of them felt the increasing
beat of his heart. With the other hand he reached to Inoue's chin, and tugged
the man's head back, to look him in the eyes. Deep violet pools of anger and
pain and other things that Reven didn't understand - he'd never
understood.
"I'm touching you," he said, softly. He tried to keep a cool tone -
he tried to stop his voice from trembling. "I'm not asking anything
else." Once I asked you to let me touch you, he thought. I asked
you once to do whatever you wanted. But that was another life. Inoue didn't
like to talk about his personal feelings - Inoue found his prattle annoying.
Inoue had never told him anything about his past, while he knew everything
about Reven's.
But once he wanted Reven.
Once he took him.
And Reven wanted that again.
He knew he had only a moment before Inoue struck out at him again - he took
that moment and he recklessly pressed his lips to Inoue's. "Nothing
else," he murmured into his mouth, relishing the salty taste of his flesh.
Reven's lips were on Inoue's and the redhead was lost; he loathed the fact that
he was so weak, so easily snared as soon as a warm mouth was closed upon his.
It was his greatest weakness, and would eventually be his downfall.
Inoue's groin was alight with need, fully erect and pressing between the both
of them, against Reven's bare stomach as his eyes slid shut and he leaned into
the kiss.
Four years; four fucking years of celibacy, not even a kiss, just quick gropes
and moans in the night, then separation again for several weeks, even months.
His anger flared once more when the worst image of them all, when he had stood
there and watched Reven kiss another man with his hair dyed red, watched the
man who so easily slipped a hand between Reven's legs and made the youth wail
with pleasure-- and Inoue managed to draw away, imagining he could taste every
other person Reven had kissed.
"D-don't," he muttered, turning away once more, though his grip
tightened on Reven's chest and slid up to the man's shoulders.
"I hate the fact that you... I can't stop thinking about..." Ahh, who was he kidding? He had no idea how to express his
thoughts or feelings in any way, shape or form, especially to Reven, especially
right now.
He needed to be alone and regroup himself, but he couldn't tear himself away
from the warm flesh before him and the piercing gaze he knew was upon him.
"Look at me!" growled Reven, panting a little from the kisses, and
the desperate desire he felt welling up in him. His cock strained against his
pants, tenting the soft sweat fabric. It'd take just a tug to loosen them - to
have them fall to the floor and leave him free to press every inch of him
against Inoue. Inoue dragged his head back to stare at him, almost as if it
hurt him. "It's me here - it's Reven! I'm no different - no dirtier
- than when you took me in and said you'd make me yours. You think i cared
about any of that? Any of them?"
He started to kiss Inoue again, frantically, his tongue seeking out the inside
of him, wanting that closeness again. When he paused for breath, his words were
frantic too. "I tried looking - I tried to find something and someone. To
find someone like you, if you'd only fucking see it! But never - nowhere
- can't find it there -" He stopped the words, Inoue's hands becoming
tighter and fiercer on his shoulders now, and his slender body feeling consumed
by the strength of his mentor.
Inoue was finally able to push at the body before him, but it wasn't out the
door as he'd originally intended; he slammed Reven's back against the wall,
pinning him to it fiercely. He stared hard at him, searching, trying to
understand, trying to find just one reason more to hate Reven so he could throw
the kid out.
Those eyes, staring back up at him, older and tainted, yet just as needing as
the day they'd met.
"You will never. Never. Go to that place
again," he whispered, his throat tight, his jaw clenched. "You are...
you're... mine!"
It was proper to just out and say it, it felt right.
He was the one in charge here, wasn't he? He was the one running this
operation! It was his rule, it was his life, it was
Inoue's problem if Reven screwed everything up...
He found himself not caring as he felt Reven's hard length pressing against him
though his sweats. He just needed that answer, that confirmation of authority,
that belief that if this happened, there would still be some agreement, some
sort of respect retained.
"I will never go to that place again," whispered Reven in reply, as
if it were some kind of mantra. He was starting to pant heavily - he felt his
body relaxing under Inoue's forceful hands. "I'm yours. Yours!"
Hadn't that always been the case? His lips ached for Inoue again - his hands
fell to his side, awaiting Inoue's direction. "Do it!" he gasped.
"I told you - I'm not asking anything else! Just - I'm yours." And he
leant his head back, baring his throat for the man's touch.
The redhead dove in as soon as he'd gotten the words he needed, tasting the
skin of Reven's neck, laving it with his tongue and closing his mouth upon it,
kissing and biting hard, leaving marks in his wake as he trailed down Reven's
chest. Inoue took one raised nipple between his lips and rolled it with his
tongue as his hands swept down his partner's body, and he pulled the light
pants from Reven's hips with a rough jerk, dropping them to the floor and
exposing the man's solid cock.
Gods, he hadn't seen it upright and before him in so long, too long...
Inoue's tongue and lips slithered across the tense, muscled stomach and down to
the waiting length, running underneath it slowly before his lips closed around
the length, his tongue sliding between the slit, tasting the precum as his breath came in soft hisses.
"Say it again," he demanded as his hands took hold of the swollen
shaft, tightening around it fiercely before lapping lovingly at the darkened
head once more.
Reven shuddered under the onslaught, his stomach clenching, his cock lurching
out into freedom, hot and painfully swollen. Inoue's mouth closed on him like a
velvet clamp, sucking at the skin, tugging it up and down as he took his
pleasure of it. When his hands closed around its base, squeezing it to
attention, straining the wrinkled sac of his balls underneath, Reven almost
yelped. His hips bucked outwards, trying to close the contact, seeking
something even more substantial.
"I'm yours!" he gasped, again. It felt so right to say it, here with
Inoue taking hold of him at last, at last. "I'm yours!"